As I approach the age of sixty, it occurs to me that I miss some things. Some things I am happy to have behind me. I am happy to have gone through menopause. I am happy to be free of the intense responsibility of child rearing. I am happy to choose whether or not to decorate for the holidays. I am happy to have the choice to sit here in front of my computer and write at midnight.
What do I miss? I miss hot steamy sex. It may sound like a wonderful idea to have sex with my husband. I like the prelude to the act. The suggestion and the flirting and the kissing and the hugging. Foreplay, if you will. But I suppose I miss the raging hormones that drive you insane with the absolute need for satisfaction.
Do not misunderstand, I would never want to be a teen again. But a good dose of teen hormones every now and again would be quite refreshing. I don't know if my joints could do justice to some of the positions I tried out in my younger years ......... You see the ads for erectile dysfunction, but I have never seen a set of tubs on the shore of a lake. Are they suggesting that the couple copulate in one of the tubs. With or without water?
Either scenario has problems. Without the water to displace the weight on that hard porcelain surface, somebody will sustain injuries. Really. I am not as small or flexible as I used to be. All that thrashing about could result in a broken hip. While water would add cushion and buoyancy, there would be a whole new set of problems to overcome. You would need a lubricant that was not water soluble, for sure.
What happened to my skin? Age spots and wrinkles seem to have taken over. My leg skin looks like crepe paper and suddenly I have pubic hair behind my knees. Must be where all my pubic hair in the pubic region has disappeared to. Moles and bumpy little skin tags plague my torso and neck.